Anxiety and me.

The ups and downs no matter the importance growing up were so petty and/or ridiculous compared to what we face in the adult world. I have had some great teachers, role models, and family members supporting and guiding me to where I am today. But that doesn’t change the fact that I felt unprepared for this life of adulting.

A few months ago, face swollen and at the lowest of spirits, I could see the worry in every person around me. I couldn’t keep it together either. My eyes could barely open but they were blood red and I was quietly sobbing. I look younger than I am so I assumed I looked even younger wearing a thin hoodie, sweats, and shoes. The nurse seemed as if she was scared to ask questions. In the end, she just wanted to give me a hug. People do care. The doctor came in and was in shock. She has been my primary physician for a long time. At least 4 years and has recognized and helped a lot dealing with my health.

Anyway, without too much personal detail LIFE was stacking up on me. I was in and out of my doctor’s office. I was even hiding it from my boyfriend, he is a worrier and I was determined to handle it on my own. I later was lovingly reprimanded for it. From all directions, LIFE was trying it – well me. I never learned how to deal with this type of problem. Is there a class for this in school? Like HELLO!

With all the doctor visits I’ve learned that my serotonin level is low. Serotonin is key to our feelings of happiness and very important because it helps fight anxiety and depression. This means I could experience a sad depressed mood, low energy, negative thoughts, feel tense and irritable, crave sweets, and/or have a reduced interest in sex. It has taken a toll on me but I’m managing. Now I have a bit of knowledge and medication to help manage the symptoms. I will eventually need to see someone else if you know what I mean.

I know everyone is dealing with life. I just hope we all can be brave enough to get help. Help is what you make it – heck you can talk to your BFF right? Talking to someone usually helps. Even if it’s just for a little bit. Don’t feel like your alone, there are too many people in this world.

Until next time!

xoxo – oy


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