to all my loves, stay strong

It’s tiring, I know! It hurts, I know.
It saddens me to see an entire race still fighting for simple human respect, fairness, and justice.
It’s depressing to live this truth, day in and day out, knowing this is the world/government we live in.
It’s complete and utter bull—-, I know.

No matter what I have to stay calm at this moment.
I have to breathe in and out while I ache for those still fighting for justice.
In a place that we know to be home, the supposed land of the free.

Free for SOME to get away with murder.
“Free” as long as white supremacy exists.
Free for SOME to go jogging.
For SOME to freely wear a hoody.
For SOME to feel safe at home in their place of rest.

To not know THAT same freedom is scary.
To see the problems and live in it, as a black person, even scarier.
No matter we have to get through this.
We are more than capable, our ancestors have blessed us with this.
This fight, this strength, all come from the work made to bring you here.

I am here for you…
Lean on me, lean on each other.
Stand strong together.
This is not the end!

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My interpretation.

I sit in a corner and ponder today. Today means more than Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday, it is also another day in which we as African Americans, get to remember, honor and appreciate those that stood up for rights we justly deserved. To be treated equally regardless of skin wasn’t your typical day years ago. These members of courage joined hands and fought for what they believed in. Something much bigger than themselves.

Unfortunately, to this day it’s still a problem. Hate crimes, prejudice, and racism continue to corrupt the hearts of many. It’s a saddening poison, one that removes the kindness in hearts, harmony in souls and hope for the future.

Observed on the third Monday each January we honor what is close to his birthday (01/15/1929). In Charlotte, we have a parade the Saturday before, I have yet to attend the parade. Don’t judge me – but I am just finding out about the parade as if it never existed.

This day is also important to me because it reminds me of how much work I have to do as an individual. To be the best that I can be, to show those before me that I am not wasting their triumphs and successes before me. Without them, I wouldn’t be able to. Next post I will be sharing what some of my goals for this year will be.

Until next time 🙂

My precious time.

I’m running on a tangent from a conversation I was having with one of my girlfriends at lunch and we were talking about time — one of our biggest pet peeves. She is one of those girls that I can agree with on almost everything. But that’s not the only reason I love her. She helps me feel as though I am not being unreasonable with what irks me.

Time is on no one’s side, it ticks and tocks creating a stressful sound in the background. It’s the white noise that erks my soul. To have a room so quiet that you can hear the minute or second hand take the day away. Time is always moving forward, heck maybe that is all it can do. Not faster than the last, not slower than the first. Just steady ahead, pushing through like a steamboat. What if we worked like time — never sleeping.

Because time is so unforgiving this happens to be one of the things that get under my skin when dealing with others. I politely ask that you don’t waste my time. I consider it to be personal, something aggravating that can’t be undone, only learned from. This pet peeve of mine can be interpreted another way as well. Don’t complain about life to me over and over again without making the steps to change how you feel or your situation. I am the type of human being that takes time to listen, support and work with others when they are having a problem. Whatever I can do to help, I will. When I put that much thought and effort into something and see you faltering I remember I can’t be mad at anyone but me. Disappointing in whomever for wasting my time but mad at me for doing so much. At that point, that person is just wasting both of our time. My energy is also precious to me as I have been more fatigued lately. I guess I am just getting older. Since the end result will continue to be the same and we will be talking about this, again as if we never discussed it.

I like to work towards progress and or positive outcomes and hopefully, you can understand and respect that. I love to spend time doing things that will result in a better life for me. Time is precious, I value you yours, so please value mine.

Until next time!

xoxo – Silly

Being Pro-Black…

Pro-Black doesn’t mean anti-white or any other anti-culture. According to Urban dictionary “Pro black – is a lifestyle that encourages the economic growth and development of the black people as a whole with a purpose of increasing the wealth and population of black people around the world. Whether it be spending money with black own business in your communities or online. Promoting the love for black people and encouraging black youth is it’s soul purposes to keep uplifting black people in America to be proud and at the same time.” Pro is Latin for “forward” or “for”. So my understanding is that without context Pro American means they have a favorable opinion of America. Truthfully though, there’s not a clear definition of pro-Black because so many people have different approaches to it. Full disclaimer, this entire post comes from someone who predominately had a mixed group of friends. This isn’t to discredit my opinion, just to elaborate on a different experience than your typical bro-black advocate.

I was told I couldn’t be pro-black if I don’t date within my own race. As an African American woman, you expect me to date within my race because of the past? Those and like minds present then are outnumbered now. We live in a different world now, one in which prejudices have grown but tolerance and respect are more desired of a citizen. Including the help of my other half, I’ve gone natural and experienced the growing pains that come with it. He has pushed a lot of my own culture back into my life. I have also learned to accept and respect everyone else’s opinion on the initial matter.

Regardless of anyone else, I would definitely consider myself pro-black. I will say, I’m not as educated in black history and culture as I would like but there is time for learning. The best example for me to give about this is to say your religious values in your denomination could be far off from some in the same denomination. In their differences don’t make them any less a part of their religion. You can feel entitled to your opinion – I just feel as though these things are all subjective. So who are you to judge? I do not have to agree with the words or actions of every black person to be Pro Black.

Interracial dating is doable for someone “labeled” Pro Black. As long as you have “a partner who is compassionate and empathizes with the same or similar values concerning the black community.

Ah welp! Until next time!

Don’t spread your germs!

Should these two seasons be called sick season and the other two allergy season? I have not been sick nor will I be. I did suffer a lot from allergies last spring and summer but I am back to a hundred percent now.

Flu season just started and I feel like every year I get more and more germ-a-phobic. There has already been a few in the vicinity to get a sore throat. Not me – I’m sliding through with my environments with orange juice, matcha, and other teas with a cocktail of whole foods throughout the day. Lastly, I carry hand sanitizer everywhere. It’s not a cute accessory to have hanging on your bag/purse/what have you but its functional and pretty dang smart. I don’t know where your hands have been, I’m just saying.

“Being sick is all fun and games until you no longer live with your mom.” -Unknown

I think we should introduce proper “cold etiquette”. When I say cold etiquette this applies to anyone with as little as a small cough not caused by choking or smoking. If you have congestion in your head, the chills any symptom that makes you question your health – then these rules apply to you.

The following rules are not the law, they are simply a suggested list of what could be adopted and or updated by the general public. Just hear me out!

• If you are coughing or sneezing try concealing it with something other than your hands, maybe your inner elbow, pick a side for consistency.
  • side note: If you open a door try not to use the same elbow. That’s why I recommended picking one side, I’m just saying.
• Try not to directly touch people or other commonly touched things. I am by no means saying you have to call out of work or wear gloves. Just use a napkin to grab or pass the community salt in the break room.
  • If you are meeting someone and they want to shake hands, maybe suggest otherwise and briefly tell them why. They will likely be genuinely concerned and or appreciative of your consideration.
• Too many symptoms can probably be left at home, literally. If you are coughing and sneezing up every bit of mucus in your body with a fever. You are wiping out the Kleenex cabinet. Feel free to keep all of your bodily fluids at home, plus work is likely distracted by the noise you were/are making.

I mean, I feel like that is all I can say, the rest is basic hygiene…you know washing your hands and being cleanly with shareable items. You never know, a sniffle, cough and sneeze later I start to worry. Shivers down my spine. I don’t like being sick! Squirrrrrrrt! Goes the hand sanitizer bottle into my chocolate hands. For those with sensitive noses, I am sorry. Please be prepared to smell the fumes from this here liquid. My neighbor would problem get a migraine – poor thing! We will get her some Advil or migraine meds in advance. You don’t want to be under a blanket looking miserable next week. We can’t count on others to contain their germs.

So gear up like a boss. Show those germs who’s boss!

xoxo oy

In Memory

For those who have fallen, you’ve not been forgotten. Seventeen years ago, nineteen terrorists killed nearly 3,000 people.

Yet we have war within. And there are so many young souls today joining those lost in 9/11. May you all rest in peace.

❤ Oy

Social Media Respect

OMG! I didn’t know when I would post this but I wish it were sooner. I don’t know who reads these post but I hope the right hearts and or people can share this. With the change in technology and the way we share things throughout the world, I can see so many things aren’t, in my opinion, appropriate or respectful.

So maybe this is new to you or just a refresher but I decided to review it anyway. For the sake of saying I did, here we go!

Respect goes both ways, to put it as simple as pie, respect online has to be given to be received. You will not always know the tone in text so don’t assume more than the words themselves. Even if you are fueled with mean things to say, maybe ask if things were meant to be offensive. If they were intended to be offensive I would “try” to ignore the person and move on. This likely isn’t someone you can relate to or talk to anyway, stay pleasant and do not let trivial things trouble you.

“Treat everyone with respect and kindness. Period. No exceptions.” – Kiana Tom

I remember “everyone” watching the Netflix Series 13 Reasons Why it was a great storyline and had its twist and turns to keep you on your feet. It was a very emotional show and I hope that it touched all who have seen it. Lastly, cyberbullying exists and it can be brutal. We as millennials and our elders are on all of these online accounts, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc are all so user-friendly, easy to access and a bit of a black hole. The black hole reference was used only or the unneeded finger swiping to scroll through.

“Just imagine how different the world could be if we all spoke to everyone’s with respect and kindness.” – Holly Branson

Another thing, I see this often and think it is overlooked. Maybe moving forward some should stop sharing about your troubles online, maybe you see it as a way to vent. Others may see it as a way to entertain themselves, pick on/laugh and or even worse twist and convey what you may be going through to someone else. In a way, I do see it as a way to vent, however, maybe there is a different way to encourage that. Putting my personal troubles and or issues is wasted time in my book. Of your many followers, whom can you say will be there to help you vent and not your private life more than you have. Let’s not forget, It is the world wide web! Instead of participating in this behavior, try talking to the individual that you may need to or feel like venting to, this person is likely to be supportive, kind and hopefully helpful.

To help be more mindful online you should try the following: being aware of your tone, not using bad language, name-calling, insulting others and using CAPS LOCK as it is considered shouting and can rapidly escalate an argument. Empathy, the ability to identify with and feel for another person’s concerns, can also be paired with respect. I try telling others to practice reading the content with a smile before committing to publish online.

“We don’t need to share the same opinions as others, but we need to be respectful.”   – Taylor Swift

I personally, would just like to see a change in the way we treat others in general, online just seems the most used resources for communication as well as a widespread audience.

Until next time!

xoxo oy